By Scott Woodall
Cool to see Kyle Blanks thigh fiving (Kudos to Matt & the lads over @ Sharapova’s Thigh!) the San Diego Padres bat boy…no wait...I think that’s actually 2009 teammate David Eckstein isn't it? Sorry Dave, but Blanks is 6’6”, and 285 pounds…so it doesn’t surprise us that he’d dwarf your oompa loompa sized frame in this photo.
Despite a Lerch laced pitching staff that boasts current Petco Park towers Chris Young (6’10”), Adam Russell (6’8”), Mat Latos (6’6”), Aaron Poreda (6’6”), Clayton Richard (6’5”), and Mike Adams (6’5”) - just to name a few – the 1st baseman turned outfielders’ overall size still makes the behemoth Blanks an imposing stature in the Pads clubhouse.
As we prepare for yet another Phillies visit to the Fall Classic, and head into Blanks sophomore season - some questions still remain with big, bad Blanks….BUT THIS IS GOOD WAIVERSHARKS! Even dressed in the Padres alternative camo uniform , it may be hard pressed for Kyle Blanks to hide from the inevitable revving of the hype machine engine at the onset of 2010.
That may taint his Sleeper Draft Value (SDV - There's a newly invented baseball acronym for the stats whores!) once spring flowers bloom, and baseballs fly through the optimistic Peoria, Arizona air. All together now, say "Peoria, Arizona air" five times fast Pads fans.
But (Insert Padres fan *sigh*...and a moment of silence for Jake the Snake Peavy) there’s still some chance that a ballplayer playing for a 75W-87L team, coupled with the fact that his first season only consisted of 148 at bats, might still be hovering under the sunny San Diego radar.
Sure, the cat may be out of the bag in terms of the power…(You can't expect a truck that carries 285+ pounds not to knock some serious silly into a regulation cushioned cork baseball), but we think Blanks is in store for a lot more than just a dinger laden career filled with tape measure taters.
Despite the high K rate in 2009, Blanks could easily eclipse Adam Dunn’s .249 career average next season, even while playing in Petco – a Park not exactly beloved by hitters who make a living on hitting for power.
San Diego's friendly giant even exhibited surprising speed and agility - which helped allow the Padres brass to give his big man sized glove a shot at patrolling the vast Petco outfield for portions of 2009 – while A-gone conveniently stood pat in the 1st base spot he's clung rightful claim to during '09.
Blanks even provided the not exactly pulse racing Padres the most exciting play of 2009 when instead of clouting the usual mammoth moon shot over Petco’s walls, the giant righty chugged around all three bags, and then stormed home for an inside the park home run! According to Wikipedia - Blanks is the biggest known professional baseball player to perform this! The biggest guy prior to Blanks was Cecil’s little boy wonder - Prince Fielder. Blanks even capped the oxygen draining marathon of bases with a sweet head first slide!
We can’t deny that the man who dons a figure eight on his back every night is no speed skater, but the athleticism he has displayed early in his career is yet another reason to take note of a possible rising Fantasy Baseball Star.
SO, what’s not to like? Well, besides the fact that we wish he’d have kept the nice beginnings of an Oscar Gamble afro wig…hmmm.
The strike outs could be a serious issue - 55 in 148 abs is simply unacceptable. But, we think his batters eye will become far more discerning as his experience grows, and he sees how many pitchers will want to avoid him launching their served up fastball rockets into other galaxies far far away. Another concern is the season ending Plantar Fasciitis bout he endured. Supposedly Blanks had some similar problems with sore tootsies back in college while playing for the Yavapai Roughriders, but never as bad as the debilitating injury plagued him during the final stages of his 2009 rookie MLB campaign.
But HOLD IT right there! STOP THE PRESSES! Cue a downloaded sound bite of a hastily scratched vinyl record! We are not claiming to be Dr. Scholls, but we think we may have discovered the freshly pedicured solution for our 2010 Fantasy Baseball SLEEPER KEEPERS frustrating feet!
We are indeed hoping the aptly nicknamed “Gigantor” reads this article! (Why else would we lace it with so many Google Keywords you may have wondered?) Maybe Manager Bud Black will Stumble upon us while bored of watching the Philadelphia Phillies play the New York Yankees in this years World Series! (Who could have predicted that one eh?) Well, at the very least, we are crossing our Fantasy Baseball fingers that ANY ONE of the San Diego Padres trainers such as Todd Hutcheson, Paul Navarro, Brian Prilaman, Jim Malone or even Spencer Dallin, Tony Petricca or Phillip Kerr (All names of gentlemen whom our cracked research staff tracked down from the Padres MLB website) are made aware of the AMAZING benefits of FITFLOPS!
FitFlops are a product like NO other! They have even attracted the sexy size 9's of Assassination of a High School President (Cool Flick!) co-star Mischa Barton. In fact, Fitflops multitude of benefits have been praised & embraced the last couple years by several other high profile Hollywood pantyhoes - such as Pamela Anderson, Katie Holmes and Hilary Swank. That's some pretty hot pairs of gams guys!
Even Oprah has gone on the record as loving them. And love Oprah, or hate her - you have to admit the woman loves to shop...and so we should entrust that both she and her shopping army of assistants would do what they could to avoid turning her billion dollar hooves the Color Purple!
And no, we are not whole heartedly endorsing FitFlops just because we liked the sexy school girl outfit Mischa Barton's character Francesca Fachini wore during her seductive hommage to 'The Graduate'. *Gulp* Can you imagine had a girl ever muttered the words..."I'm so going to corrupt you" while in High School? I think the Bobby Funke in all of us wishes they heard that line at least once in our lives!
We are NOT affiliated with Fitflops in any way, and want to reiterate, we were not paid a red cent, or a dime store nickel from the makers of FitFlops to give this glowing testimonial! THE PRODUCT SIMPLY WORKS FANTASTIC, AND HAVE HELPED SEVERAL PEOPLE WE KNOW WHO HAVE EXPERIENCED SIMILAR PROBLEMS TO WHAT KYLE BLANKS WENT THROUGH IN 2009.
We here at www.waiversharks.com want Kyle Blanks to become the next Frank Howard, or Frank Thomas. So if this blog is read by ANYONE close to him, PLEASE feel free to contact us so we can further explain the virtues of these sensational sandals! One person - who shall remain nameless at her request, even went so far as to say they SAVED HER LIFE after months of not being able to walk on her heel!
Now, although most of FitFlops product line is currently skewed towards women, they do have a couple of models for men – Claiming the sandals “Give you a workout while you walk". A potential cure for Plantar Fasciitis
is definitely another of the specially engineered sandals and boots miracle advantages!
As stated, the primary target market for FitFlops appears at this time to be more women than men, but there are currently two MENS FitFlops versions – and we would think more are in the works.
SO, we are willing to place high stakes bets that if any of Kyle Blanks ‘peeps’ can shoe horn the big mans boats into some man sized FitFlops sandals this off season & beyond – we could be witnessing an absolute breakout candidate for the 2010 baseball season!
Hell, maybe the fine folks at FitFlop will even design a specially formulated FitFlops cleat!? Okay, FitFlop spikes are not very likely – but, if the hype machine we mentioned earlier doesn’t put this 2010 Sleeper beyond reach in your respective Fantasy Baseball league - we feel Blanks is one draft board darling worth an Oscar Meyer wiener sized gamble!
Just like Kevin Kouzmanoff did last year (shown above getting a playful 'piggy back' ride ride form Big Blanks after Kyle clubbed a walk off home run) - we strongly suggest you are quick to jump on board the 2010 Kyle Blanks Sleeper Train! Especially if you spot him wearing a shiny new pair of Freeway Mens FitFlops during Spring Training!
After all, discovering the next big thing to come along in Major League Baseball is no small feet!
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